Take a look through the looking glass

Author Laura Dennis (“Adopted Reality,” 2012) over at Expat Mommy Learning to Let Go invited me to participate in The Look Challenge, a way for bloggers to introduce readers to their own and others’ books.

Here’s how it works: I post an excerpt of my manuscript that includes the word “look,” and then list five other writers to take the same challenge.

A look from ‘The Percussionist’s Wife’

A quick review of my manuscript reveals I was looking all over the place and overlooking, too. Here’s one of my “looks” from “The Percussionist’s Wife: A Memoir of Sex, Crime & Betrayal” in Chapter 19, Dirge:

He was in the moment, a slave to his low self-esteem, looking for support and endorsement anywhere he could get it, including the arms of another woman, a physically mature but emotionally immature girl. His pain was so great, he was willing to do anything to assuage it. Some people drink to forget their troubles. Some people snort coke. Some people eat until they can’t eat another mouthful. Some people run 50-milers. Some people cut themselves. These things – all evidence of a person’s pain – at least hurt the person who is drinking, snorting, eating, running, cutting. They don’t hurt others. Steve’s pain was addressed by using other people, which was sometimes hurtful, sometimes illegal.

So when he said he was sorry, I believed he was sorry. But saying “I’m sorry” didn’t mean then and never meant, “I’ll never do it again.” He couldn’t promise that. I knew he couldn’t promise that. I even knew he wasn’t purposely hurting me when he was kissing someone else. He wasn’t even thinking about me. He never even considered how I would feel to read that he said, “Monica doesn’t want children, but I might” or “Monica and I are getting divorced.” When my name came out of his mouth, he wasn’t thinking about me and my feelings, he was just thinking about himself.

My trust may have been misplaced, but it wasn’t irrational. Trust is not something you double-check and prove. That’s not trust. Trust is expecting something will or won’t happen, not checking that it does or doesn’t. Trust is expectation, not action.

5 self-published authors to read 

Now, take a look at the blogs and books from these authors:

Thanks, Laura, for the look and the challenge.

And don’t forget: I’ll be signing books at 7 p.m. this Wednesday, Oct. 17, at the Read Between The Lynes bookstore, 129 Van Buren St., in Woodstock, Ill. Drop by and say hi!

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One thought on “Take a look through the looking glass

  1. Looks great Monica! It’s a tricky thing; the I’m sorry from someone we love, and knowing that they’ll probably do it again. Congrats on all of your success and good luck with your reading. –Laura

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